how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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