is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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