i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
