She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Vodka?
Forever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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