dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
