Non-Jews are for practice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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