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i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
