Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
