My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
