We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
