Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
