we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Come share oat with me in your robe
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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