There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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