It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
