What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
