He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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