im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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