This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
