he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
