So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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