all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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