where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
