Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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