Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
