I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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