It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
