Having a random hookup so left but love u
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
