Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
