Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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