things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
