is your mom at the bar?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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