Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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