You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm gonna have a badass scar
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
