I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
