he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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