Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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