Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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