So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
