Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize