The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
