dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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