TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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