i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
