Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
