You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
