I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
