u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
