I feel great
I just peed on a car
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
