Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
