is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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