I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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