just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
