guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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