Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
