She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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