I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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